Shotgun Wedding
by gawilliams
Summary: Part of the Deep Regret storyline.  Booth is forced to propose to Bones.
1. Chapter 1

_I thought it would be fun to do a short one about when Booth finds out he's going to become a Father again. This is another in the Deep Regret storyline. I hope you enjoy it. Gregg._

_Disclaimer: I don't own, or profit from, these characters or franchise. No copyright infringement is intended._

Booth didn't know what in the Hell was going on. He'd been having a nice morning in the office working on a mountain of dull paperwork, which seemed to be the bain of his existence these days now that he had been promoted, when all of a sudden Max had called and told him he wanted to have a talk with him over lunch. Okay. Now that was weird. He and Max got along great most of the time, but things had been tense since Booth's foolishness in dating Hannah. Now that he was with Bones and it was for the long haul, Max had cooled down a bit, but the memories were just fresh enough that a summons from Max was a bit on the scary side.

Walking into the diner he nodded hello to the waitresses and the cook. They were all good friends from all the lunches and dinners he and Bones had shared there, so it was all good. Looking about he spotted Max sitting in his and Bones traditional seat, Max being in the seat Bones always used.

"Hey, Max," Booth said as he took a seat. He nodded in thanks to the waitress who filled an empty coffee cup for him as he ordered the usual.

"So, Booth," Max said with his insufferable grin firmly in place. "How are things with you and Tempé?"

Whenever Max got that damn grin on his face Booth got nervous. It was like waiting for the bomb to go off and getting splattered.

"Things are good, Max," Booth said with a nod. "We're getting used to living together, and there's been some rough spots, but we're working them out."

"I guess what I should be asking is, is my baby girl happy?" Max asked directly.

"Max, things are good," Booth protested the implied criticism. He'd protest anyway as the absolute_** last **_thing on this Earth Booth wanted was Max pissed at him for not making Bones happy.

"Then why was she crying when I saw her in her office this morning, and when I asked if you'd done anything, she nodded and slammed the door in my face," Max said as he leveled a deadly glare at Booth.

Booth about lost control of his sphincter right then. Bones crying? Bones saying it was him that was the cause? What the Hell was going on? Bones was pretty damn happy when he dropped her off that morning! If Max thought he was responsible, then he was in deep shit!

"Now, Max, I haven't seen Bones since I left her at the Jeffersonian this morning, and when I dropped her off she was smiling and happy," Booth protested. "I haven't seen or talked to her since!"

"Then I guess you had better head over there and find out what you did to make my Baby Girl unhappy," Max said with a look that said it wasn't a request. Then he smiled widely. "But you can eat your lunch first, though."

"You're all heart, Max," Booth muttered as he looked down at his burger and fries that had just been placed in front of him.

"So, when is Parker coming in for more science lessons?" Max asked with a clap of his hands and a wider smile. Now that he'd scared the crap out of Booth he could move on to another fun subject, Parker. He loved the little guy and always looked forward to when he could give the young man some science lessons.

An hour or so later Booth made tracks into the lab area of the Jeffersonian. He was really freaked out from his "lunch" with Max. The man may be a bit older than he was a few years ago, but that sharp jab to the cajones that Max had delivered a few years before still gave him nightmares.

"Angela!" he said when he spotted the artist.

"Hey, Studly!" Angela gave him a leering look. She may be married, and would never stray, but Booth was a real stud muffin in her opinion and she would always be more than willing to take a look. She also knew something that Studly didn't know yet, so she was appreciating him all the more.

"Max just freaked me out," Booth said without preamble. "Is something going on with Bones that I need to know about? Like is she pissed at me for some reason?"

Angela almost laughed her ass off. Bren was a bit pissed at Booth, and if Bren was pissed off about something, then Max was sure to dive right in and go off on the one he assumed was responsible.

"Well, she is miffed about something, but you need to speak with her to find out what about," Angela told him with a pat on his shoulder as she walked away.

"Thanks," he said sarcastically. He looked around and saw Wendell. He walked over to him and decided to take one more stab at finding out what was going on before facing a pissed off Bones. "Hey, Wendell," he said nonchalantly.

"Man, whatever you did you need to fix it soon," Wendell said with his wry grin in place. "Dr. Brennan is on the warpath about something."

"Do you have any idea what's wrong?" Booth asked, a bit more afraid now.

"Not a clue," Wendell shrugged. "Sorry."

"Well," Booth took a deep breath. "I guess it's up to me to be a man and find out what I did," he said finally.

"Better you than me, Man," Wendell said as he went back to the platform to look like he was busy so Dr. Brennan wouldn't turn her wrath on him.

"Coward," Booth muttered as he walked over to Bones' office, the door of which was closed. He sighed. That wasn't a good sign. Bones only closed her office door if he was there with her and she was feeling amorous, or she was pissed off about something and needed solitude to keep from killing someone while she worked on compartmentalizing. "Why me?" he groaned as he knocked on the door. He jumped back when the door flew open and he saw a somewhat disgruntled looking Bones standing there glaring at him.

"Get in here," she ground out.

Booth could tell she was grinding her teeth. He walked in somewhat timidly, keeping an important piece of his anatomy turned away from her as surreptitiously as possible.

"Uh, hey, Bones," he said nervously. "What's up?"

"You are permanently banished to the couch," Bones said with a serious glint in her eyes.

"What?" he yelped, about to faint. The couch? What the Hell?

"You heard me," she told him. "This is all your fault!"

"What the hell are you talking about?" he screeched.

"As if you didn't already know," she huffed. She knew she was being a bit unreasonable, but she had been unable to process this even after all the time since finding out this morning a little after coming to work.

"I don't know! All I know is is that Max says you're pissed at me and now he's ready to torch my cajones!" he exclaimed.

"I'm _**PREGNANT**_!" she said loudly. "You and your super sperm got me pregnant!"

Booth felt a bit light headed. Bones had told him when they got together that, while she eventually wanted kids, she wasn't ready for it yet. He'd been super careful. Condoms at all times, and he knew that Bones was on a contraceptive, too. Damn his boys could do some damage!

"Congratulations?" he offered, despite how stupid that sounded since he should be getting congratulated, too.

"I'm not ready for this, Booth!" she said forlornly. She sat down on the couch and leaned back, thoroughly miserable.

Booth tentatively sat down next to her and placed an arm over her shoulder. "Am I still on couch duty?" he asked.

"I should dislocate your shoulder and crush your balls," she told him as she leaned into him a bit, her initial anger passed now that he was here and available to make her feel better.

Booth cringed at the mental image of her doing just that, particularly the latter. He worked at not crossing his legs in fear.

"Uh, Bones," he started, not sure how to broach this subject. "I would have thought that there would have been some warning signs that you're pregnant..." he trailed off.

"Daisy noticed something in my gait and suggested the possibility," Bones told him. "Angela went and bought a test and the result was positive. I need to make an appointment with my OB/GYN to verify, but the test is fairly conclusive."

"So no other symptoms?" he asked.

"None so far, though I do have irregular periods due to the contraceptive I use," she observed.

"Bones, I want to know as little about your female issues as possible," he reminded her. He shuddered at the mere thought of getting a lecture from the Super Squint herself about female issues.

Bones chuckled. "But getting you flustered is fun," she told him, teasing him a bit to let him know that while she wasn't happy about the new development, she wasn't angry at him anymore. "We need to tell my Father," she said suddenly.

Booth felt his sphincter tightening once more. "Tell Max that his baby girl is knocked up?" he managed to squeak. He felt a bit pale at the thought.

"He's not that bad," Bones said, chuckling as she knew that Max would take the opportunity to give Booth a hard time.

"Bones," Booth remonstrated. "The man torched the Deputy Director of the FBI. I think I can safely say the man won't think twice about crushing the jewels."

"He's not that bad," Bones chuckled as she got up and went to her desk. "I'll invite him over for dinner tonight and we can tell him together."

"I'll go buy a steel cup for my jock strap," Booth muttered as he went over and kissed her goodbye. "I'll pick you up at five."

_A/N: This will have one more chapter which will be posted tomorrow once I've done a final edit. I also have several other chapters for other stories about ready to be posted as well, so this week should have a number of postings from me. I hope you're enjoying this one. Gregg._


	2. Chapter 2

_Thank you for the wonderful response to the first chapter to this one. Here is the conclusion. I hope you enjoy it as much as the first. Gregg._

_Disclaimer: I don't own, or profit from, these characters or franchise. No copyright infringement is intended._

_**One Week Later**_

Booth tugged at the collar of his tux. He always hated the damn things, and now was no exception. But he had to wear one today. He was getting married. Now how in the name of Hell did this happen? His head was still spinning at the whole thing.

"Nervous, Dad?" Parker asked, looking up at his Dad. He'd never seen his Dad so fidgety before.

"Wouldn't you be, Little Man?" Booth asked, trying not to snap. It was his son, after all!

"No," Parker shrugged. "Dr. Bones is cool. If you screw up out there can I marry her?"

"You do know you'd have to kiss her," Booth pointed out, amused that his son with no arm pit hair yet wanted to marry Bones if his Old Man flubbed it when it came crunch time.

"Gross!" Parker said automatically. "You better not mess up!"

"Great pep talk, Little Man," he replied a bit sarcastically. This had to be a dream. A good dream, with some bad moments dropped in, but still a dream. He was about to marry Bones? But Bones doesn't believe in marriage. Hell, he just got her to agree to give them a go once he pulled his head out of his ass and they were finally comfortable living together. Now she was willing to get married? But then again he'd been forced to ask her, so maybe she was simply doing what was necessary to preserve his manhood. Yep. That had to be it. He let his thoughts wander to one week earlier when Max had come to dinner.

_**One Week Ago**_

"You know, Bones, I could just go out and have a beer with Hodgins while you let Max know the good news," Booth suggested as he pulled on some clothes after his shower. He put on a jock strap and his cup just in case Max decided to go right to the nut crushing phase of the evening.

"You don't need a cup, Booth," Bones shook her head as she got dressed. She'd taken the opportunity to take a nice, hands on shower with Booth.

"Easy for you to say," Booth shot back. "You don't have anything that can be easily crushed with excruciating pain."

"You definitely need to take some classes on the female anatomy, Booth," she said from where she was pulling on her sweater.

"I know plenty about the female anatomy," he defended himself.

"Yes, the _Female Anatomy For Dummies_," she chided. "Fondle here, insert here."

"It works, doesn't it?" he asked, smiling for the first time that evening. Despite the bad aspects of the time apart and the short time he was with Hannah, Bones had really come into herself and developed a lot more social skills, including the time honored pastime of making jokes.

"Yes, it does indeed work, especially with that super sperm of yours," she glared. She wasn't angry about being pregnant, just the timing.

"Hey," he backed up a bit. "I did my part. I had condoms on."

"True, but as it takes a sperm to combine with an egg, the fault is all yours," she chuckled as he threw a pillow at her. The doorbell rang just then and she laughed again when she saw Booth's face pale. "I'll let him in," she assured him.

"Are you sure I can't go have some beer with Hodgins?" Booth asked.

"I'm sure," she told him as she walked out of the bedroom.

"You just had to give me the sperm count of a God, huh?" Booth asked out loud looking up at the ceiling. Taking a deep breath, he walked out of the bedroom hoping he'd have his balls left intact when dinner was over with.

Dinner went well, and when dessert was being served, Bones dropped the bomb.

"I'm pregnant," she said with no warm up or prep to make the news any less shocking.

Booth groaned. Leave it to Bones to let loose a volley like that with no warning. He hazarded a glance at Max and saw the man with his intimidating grin firmly in place. Damn! "Surprise!" he said with as much enthusiasm as he could muster.

"Booth has been banished to the couch," Bones said with a twinkle in her eyes.

"She's kidding, Max," Booth said hastily, not wanting the man to think for even a second that there was a problem on the home front. He shot a pleading look at Bones.

Max laughed. "Her Mother told me the same thing when she got pregnant with Russ," Max said with a nod to his daughter. "I assume that was what you were so upset about this morning?"

Bones nodded. "I'm sorry for slamming the door on you," she said with genuine regret.

Max shrugged. "We all have our moments, Baby," he told her, letting her no that he didn't mind. "Tempe? I'd like to talk to Booth for a minute. You mind?"

"Not at all," Bones said, shooting Booth a wink. She leaned over and kissed him. "Have fun," she whispered in Booth's ear.

"Load of laughs," Booth muttered, already quaking in his boots. He looked over at Max and offered a sickly smile.

"So, my Baby Girl is pregnant with your child," Max observed.

"Yeah," Booth replied taking a long swig of his beer from the bottle.

"You proposed yet?" Max asked. He now focused a direct look at Booth.

Booth choked on his beer and looked at Max incredulously. "Proposed?" he choked out. "Max," he coughed. "Do you even know your daughter? The one who is ultra logical and thinks marriage is a barbaric institution? The one who until just recently refused to admit that love was something more than chemical reactions in the brain?"

"And that means it's okay to bring my grandson or granddaughter into the world without a married set of parents?" he asked.

That did get Booth's hackles up. "I did that once before, Max, and you know damn good and well that I hate the pressure it puts on Parker," he said hotly. "Bones and me are in this for the long haul. I'm a different person now, and she knows how I feel about being involved to the maximum with any child I have."

"I'm talking about the emotional security," Max said, his stare deadly earnest. He knew what he was doing could easily piss off Booth, but this was too important to ignore. If there was something he could do for his Baby Girl and his Grandkids it was to make sure that there was that security in having a married Mother and Father.

That caught Booth right away. He couldn't argue with that one. He shifted a bit in his seat and winced as the cup he was wearing hit a sensitive spot. "Let me guess," he hazarded. "I either propose, and likely get turned down, or you roast my balls off."

"I thought you'd see things my way," Max smiled again, giving Booth a clap on the shoulder. "And just so you know, I have an old double barrel shotgun handy if I need it."

That startled Booth. Now he knew that Max was _**somewhat**_ reformed, but they were also talking about his daughter and future grandkids, so that made Booth take _**extra **_care. He knew what he had to do. "Bones!" he called loudly. He jumped up and quickly got something out of the drawer in the kitchen that Bones had magnanimously designated as his private stash drawer, and made it back to the table.

"Booth?" she asked as she came into the living room, a bit concerned at the strident tone that he'd used. She cast a worried look at her Father.

"Marry me!" Booth blurted out suddenly, thrusting the ring box out in front of him. He cringed. Way to go, Stud! That's a real winner! He noticed Max sitting there trying real hard not to laugh his ass off.

"Excuse me?" Bones asked, her brow raised in shock. Not so much at the implied question, but at the suddenness of it. She'd been preparing herself for some time for a proposal, and had been working very hard to make sure she didn't mess up like she did when she had originally rejected Booth that one night.

Booth went into his spiel. "Now I know you don't believe in marriage, and I know you think it's barbaric and all that anthropological junk, but this is me we're talking about Bone, not some schmuck who's going to jump ship at the first sign of trouble."

"Yes," she said with a smile.

"Now as I was saying, I think I've proven myself over the long haul, Bones. I know my stupid idiocy about Hannah may not be the best mark on my record, but I think I've done a good job since then, and I love you, and I want our baby to have a stable home. One that they can count on," he rushed on.

"She said yes, Kid," Max said, really trying not to laugh now.

"And as for the whole ownership bit, you know I don't believe in that stuff, and I also know if I even hinted at something like that you'd rip Junior out by the roots and feed him to me," Booth rambled on.

"_**BOOTH!**_" Bones shouted.

"Hum..., what?" Booth asked, stunned out of his running nonsensical monologue.

"I said yes," she told him. "Now do I get a ring, or do I have to say no until you put on on my finger?"

Booth stood stalk still. "You said yes?" he asked.

"Yes."

"To marriage?" he asked.

"Yes," Bones said with a sigh of exasperation. This was getting ridiculous.

"To me?" he continued blithering like an idiot.

"Give me the damn ring!" Bones said very loudly, thrusting out her left hand.

Booth swiped the ring out of the box and slid it on her left ring finger without a moments hesitation. "In a church?" he asked, thinking why not take a chance and see her slip up and have to live with it or else be a hypocrite.

"Only if you want to sleep on the couch our entire marriage," she told him, smiling at his attempt.

"Civil ceremony it is!" Booth sobered up right away.

"When?" Max asked, amused at the whole thing, and quite pleased that his Baby Girl had agreed to get married.

"Before the baby's born, of course," Booth said firmly, making sure that Max knew he had his priorities straight. Junior and his nads were sending up delirious thank yous at that.

"Next Monday," Bones said out loud.

Booth cranked his head back at Bones and his jaw fell a bit. "A week?" he asked, almost afraid to voice any objection, but a note of sanity had to prevail. "You want to arrange a wedding in a week?"

"It's a civil ceremony, Booth," she explained. "We'll get the licensing and blood work done tomorrow, and we can arrange to have the ceremony done on the platform in the lab next Monday."

"You want to get married in the lab?" Booth exclaimed, his displeasure with that one very evident.

Bones was amused when she saw her Father place a hand on his shoulder and whisper something to him. The look on Booth's face was a complete 180 of what it had been a moment before.

"The lab's great!" Booth said with that cute forced enthusiasm she loved seeing whenever she got him flustered about something.

"Well, I think my work here is done," Max said as he rubbed his hands together. "Baby, I'll see you tomorrow. I have something to give you for your wedding."

"That wasn't so bad," Bones said with a smile at Booth when Max left a few minutes later.

"Bones, one of these days we are really going to have a discussion over what your definition of bad is," Booth said as he sat heavily on the couch. "Somehow I think you missed the point in that ever expanding dictionary of yours."

Bones looked down on him and smiled. "How about we table the discussion and go to bed?' she suggested.

"No couch?" he looked up hopefully.

"Hah, I just wanted to vent a bit, but now I want to enjoy being with my fiancé," she said with a look that told him that she had much more than simply cuddling in mind. She sauntered off to the bedroom, a certain sway to her hips that she knew he wouldn't dare resist.

"I am so whipped," he muttered as he made his way to the bedroom. Then he thought about it a moment and decided if having a child with the love of his life, marrying the love of his life, and the love of his life wanting to enjoy a robust sex life was what it meant to be whipped, he'd gladly be whipped the rest of his life. How could he lose?

_**Three Weeks Later**_

Despite the rather humorous pep talk from Parker, Booth had to admit that the wedding had gone off very well. Bones, naturally, had made sure that their was no mention of the idea of obeying anyone in the vows, and Booth had done his part by agreeing to no mention of God in the ceremony. He was still doing Hail Mary's and Our Father's from his confession over that one. But that day was a very good one, and one he would never forget.

When Parker finally let him have a moment, he had prayed for the strength to be the kind of husband that Bones deserved. For a long time he'd wondered whether he had the ability to think of marriage in any but selfish terms. My wife. My family. My life. When it came down to it, though, he was thinking in terms of her and not of himself at all. It showed him all of the things that had been wrong about his relationship with Rebecca and why he was now so damn glad she had turned down his proposal when she got pregnant with Parker.

As all the good feelings came to him as he sat down at his desk for the first time in two weeks, after a mind blowing honeymoon in Venice, he laughed out loud. There on his desk was a single framed photograph waiting for him. There was Max, in a tuxedo, holding a double barrel shotgun cradled across his left arm, finger on the trigger. In the older mans handwriting on the bottom of the photo was an inscription.

"Good job, Son! Just remember, the shotgun wedding isn't the only time I'll have my eye, and shotgun, on you. Good luck on this new adventure, and keep my Baby Girl happy! Max.

Yep. Seeley Joseph Booth had had an actual shotgun wedding.

_A/N: Maybe not as detailed as would be nice, but I wanted to focus more on Booth having his chat with Max than anything else. Parker and the ruminations after the honeymoon are just icing on the cake. I hope you all enjoyed this one. Gregg._


End file.
